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How difficult it is to be in a For the first time this winter I had to defrost the car in the morning.

Dominant/submissive relationship when one has a crisis of confidence in any respect.  I cannot sustain a proper Owner/property structure if I make bad decisions or errors of judgement.  Is it perfectionist to want to be right all the time?  No one can be right all the time but I still feel the pressure not to get anything wrong.  Not because I think I have to be perfect, but because to make a bad decision makes me the kind of person who should not be trusted, who cannot be relied upon.

I know it sounds as if I’m being too hard on myself, but I don’t see why.  I think people in general are too soft these days – 21st century western European life is full of screeds telling you that you shouldn’t be hard on yourself, that you can’t be perfect, that you must stop beating yourself up about your mistakes.  I call bullshit.  You shouldn’t make your own life a misery by worrying about things you cannot change, but if there is one thing you *can* change it is yourself.  A mistake is a mistake, and by its definition often cannot be helped, but you can always improve on your own judgement.

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